Sunday, March 25, 2012

Back In A Love/ Hate Relationship

...with my treadmill.

Last August we went on vacation and as far as my treadmill knew I never came home.  I've had good intentions, but for the last seven months that's all it's been...good intentions.


But guess what?!?!  Six weeks from yesterday, that means I officially have less than six weeks now, GG and I are registered for the 2012 Warrior Dash in Kansas City. 

Wondering what a Warrior Dash is?  Well basically it's a 5K race with obstacle courses that include water, mud, fire, ropes, barbed wire, climbing walls, a scrap yard, and more.  On a side note GG and I got tetanus shots in December in anticipation of this.  When you finish you're rewarded with a fuzzy warrior helmet, a finisher medal, a t-shirt, a turkey leg, and a beer if you're 21 or older and so inclined (I'm kind of hoping I can trade mine for another turkey leg). 

There are three types of warriors...

The Virgin Warrior: you own a set of dumbbells, but they are currently being used as doorstops and paperweights. You'd like to be more active, but thinking about it makes you tired and your TV schedule just won't allow it. The only thing getting you through this three mile obstacle course, is the thought of a cold beer and turkey leg waiting for you at the finish line. You don't want to win Warrior Dash - you just want to finish.

The Casual Warrior: you try to make exercise a priority but your most consistent workout is making a sixth trip to the coffee machine. Hours logged in the gym have now become hours logged at work and late nights at the office lead to take-out dinners. Perhaps this is why your letterman jacket is a bit snug these days. You don't want to win Warrior Dash - you just want to beat the guy wearing a dress. (did I mention there are costumes?!)

The Ultimate Warrior: you can step on the guy doing push ups in the start corral and not scream for your Mom. A 5K run is considered a mere warm-up and pain is viewed as a necessary component of any challenge. Your diet consists mainly of protein and your sheer athleticism causes Chuck Norris to tremble. To you, there's nothing like the smell of sweat at 6am on a Saturday. The term "fear" does not exist in your vocabulary. You don't want to run Warrior Dash - you want to win it.

GG and I might currently fall under the first warrior category, but we aspire to join the second category.  We are determined to not be beaten by the guy in the dress.  I'm not too worried about GG, after all, she's fifteen.  I, however, am not fifteen and therefore will need to train.  So it's back into a love/ hate somewhat abusive  relationship with my treadmill I go.  And if anyone has any great recommendations for some workout tunes I'm all ears (except for the part of me that's a quivering mass of fat unmusclelike tissue).

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