Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A Giggle: Gonna Be A Bear

As I mentioned yesterday, M and I are off to an auction this evening in search of great treasures.  Did I happen to mentioned that the first half of the auction is outside?  where it's cold?  That should tell you how dedicated I am to this task because I HATE the cold. The only thing I hate more than the cold is the cold accompanied by wind and/ or rain.

For years now I have tried to convince L that we would should sell out, move somewhere tropical and become pineapple farmers.  He's not buying into it (nor is he selling out). 

So since L refuses to be let me be a pineapple farmer, I guess I could be a bear instead.  During the winter I already pack on 10 pounds, eat everything that doesn't outrun me, sleep as much as possible, and tend to be a little grumpy.  Now that I think about it I'm almost there.  Guess who isn't shaving her legs tonight?!?!

Gonna Be A Bear

In this life I'm a woman.  In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.  When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months.  I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're suppose to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.  I could definately deal with that.

If you're a momma bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.  I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.  He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

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