Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Running Hot And Cold

The teacher asked a little boy in Sunday school class, "Can you tell me where God lives?", and the little boy answered, "God lives in our bathroom."
This puzzled the teacher and she asked, "Why do you think God lives in your bathroom?", to which the little boy replied, "Because every morning my daddy stands outside the bathroom door and yells My Lord are you still in there?!?!"

If you spend any amount of time in my house you're going to hear me yell "that's not a campground, get out!".  That statement will be directed at whichever teen/tween is currently barricaded in the bathroom.  Notice the use of the word the instead of a?  That's because in this less than 1000 square foot home we live in there is only one bathroom, and that bathroom only has a 40 gallon hot water tank.  Therefore the bathroom strategy in our house has always been get in, do your business, and get out.  Don't dilly dally, don't piddle, don't primp, don't nap, and don't take any reading material you're not going to be in there that long.

Last night I didn't feel like yelling, and it's obviously not all that effective anyway since I have to keep doing it.  So 20 minutes into GG's 30 minute shower (which is still twice as long as it should take) I morphed into mean mommy

Trust me when I say mean mommy is feared.  She looks for the quickest and most effective way to accomplish a goal or prove a point and then executes the plan, and if there can be a little entertainment provided to the adults along the way that's just a bonus.  She is responsible for the creating of a time out chair in the yard, so that it wasn't necessary to listen to the whining and crying in the house.  During the ice storm of 2009 she was responsible for making the Girls sit in the hall, face one another, hold hands, and exchange "I love you's" because she was tired of the fighting.  When they stopped she was the one to prod them into action again with an "I don't hear the love!". 

This time mean mommy marched into the bathroom, yanked open the shower door, turned off the hot water, turned on the cold water, and told GG this is how she would be finishing her shower.  The rest of her shower took less than 2 minutes.  NG had the privilege of learning from GG's experience, her shower only took 8 minutes.  And yes, you did read that correctly, I did invade my daughter's privacy while she was in the shower because it's my house.

This morning mean mommy is once again dormant for the moment.  And I dare say GG's cheeks are just a little bit brighter, because cold showers are good for your complexion.

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